i'm really PMSy this morning...

And this email helps me alot... :) :) :)

a few things on my mind...

|| I PROMISE NOT TO BE SO PROUD ||

Sometimes I think in blog posts. Isn't that silly? It's certainly silly sometimes, but then I assure myself, "No, you're thinking in 'I'd prefer to remember this time forever' moments." Some are extremely happy, some less so... but I look back at really poignant times in my life (finding a great group of friends in high-school, working at Cheddar's in college, traveling around London and LA) and I get so sad because I know there are wildly hilarious, charming, darling moments I can't now remember. A few pictures here and there, personal connections made from common experiences, but sometimes I long to look back just to see.

I'll interject by pointing out that I did have a blog in high school (thanks, LiveJournal!), and I did have a prolific Facebook page during college. But, ever the extremist, I did went through purging moments - "Delete everything digital! Scorch the earth! Kylie begins anew!" I regret nothing, but I miss some things.

Meghan recently went to Scarborough Faire, and I encouraged her to take pictures "because you'll forget when you're older!" Oh, she reassured me she remembers everything, and I had a very #mom moment of "Ah, you say that now! I don't remember jack!" I remember enough to wish I had more.

And sometimes I don't have pictures to put in a post. Isn't that silly? Not everything meaningful needs a picture sent through a filter. :)

Take pictures. Write things down. Use social media to memorialize small, beautiful moments and share them with people you care about. Get a blog/journal and don't worry about how often you write in them! I don't regret purging so many internet relics of my past, but sometimes I wish I hadn't of been so proud. (At the same time, I still have a hand-written journal from my college/post-college years, and I've held onto that thing for dear life.)

|| PRETTY IN PINK ||

When I was in junior high, I went to Blockbuster alot (yep! that place!) and started finding myself in movies. I got a $5 copy of "Pretty in Pink" on VHS, the only conceivable reason being that the cover looked appealing, and my mom let me get it. I don't know what specifically about that movie that I liked so much -- I was a weird kid but identifying with the weird kids/adults in that world seems too simplistic to me -- but I watched it alot. All the time. For years. I memorized it, almost wore out the damn tape, and it felt so homey to me. I just felt at home watching that movie, when I felt so strange uncomfortable in so many other places.

A few weeks ago, "Pretty in Pink" started playing on cable. For whatever reason one day Richard and I were laying in bed after a great afternoon nap, and we started watching it. And talking about it. And quoting along with it. How had we, John Hughes Nerds Extraordinaire, never talked about this movie in the 5 years we've known each other? For whatever reason, we hadn't. But I started to time-travel 15 years before when I was laying in my bed at home in Ennis after an afternoon nap, watching that movie, and I just couldn't believe where I was. In a king-size bed. In Richardson. With my husband. Watching that movie. Loving that movie together. It was just so wild and so beautiful to me. Life has such a funny way of coming full circle when you least expect it. And it's so beautiful.

|| I'VE GAINED WEIGHT ||

When I left Whole Foods in September, I immediately gained 10 pounds because I wasn't running around a brick-and-mortar store all damn day. (And I did run some days!) It was fine, because I needed so many new business-y clothes for my new real-estate adventure and didn't have much for winter. It was fine! Whatever! Next!

However, I did have alot of cute spring and summer clothes. Like, "Eee! So ready to wear this stuff!" I had a moment in March when I decided to try all of them on and... nightmare. Nothing fit. I mean, I could get into the clothes, but nothing fit right. I was so so so sad. Crying sad. 

When you're really into clothes and fashion like I am, beautiful clothes aren't something easily replaceable. Clothes are your friends. You have multiple good memories in their company. You don't worry about taking pictures in them because how could you forget them? Some you have great times with, but you don't really miss when they're gone because you're a different person now. Sure, some you grow apart from, but the ones that are really important to you never really leave (ie, stay in your closet! to touch and feel and remember whenever you'd like!).

I couldn't fit into alot of my clothes I had wanted to fit in. I've turned over alot of garments in my day, but it's always been my choice. "The fabric is too tired." "It's not my look any more!" "I liked it but didn't love it."

It wasn't my choice this time, and it was hard. I didn't want to gain weight, it just happened. I changed careers and felt like all my friends (cute, expensive summer clothes) moved away without telling me. We didn't even get to say goodbye! 

I'm not sad about the weight gain. I get nit-picky some days, but I feel really sexy and powerful in my fuller shape. I'm older, more experienced, a wife and step-mom, and I look like all those things I'm so proud to be. I'm still slim. I'm a "general size 6" instead of a "general size 4," who cares? My husband still makes me feel like the most beautiful woman that's ever existed. 

It's just the clothes. I had beautiful pieces from Club Monaco, J. Crew, Anthropologie... and they weren't cheap! And I still wanted to wear them! And loosing the weight isn't in the cards for me. I know myself, and it would require alot of work. I'd rather buy new things and be happy, not obsessed with my waist-line. I know I'll have new things that will delight me. And I still feel beautiful. I just wasn't ready to move on from those clothes. 

But it's going to be ok.

mike & ron

If you've read this blog or my Twitter for more than 2 seconds, it's pretty obvious that R and I are super into "Parks and Rec" and "Breaking Bad." Rightfully so! I mean, I consider myself more of a movie gal, but TV's kinda killing it these days!

I love both these shows for oceans of reasons, but entertainment takes on a special value when favorite things remind you of people you love, and admittedly I get really insufferably happy that two of my favorite characters remind me of my honey. So, if you've never watched those shows, Mike and Ron are like Richard. And if you've never met Richard, he's like Mike and Ron. Ron has die-hard proclivities towards red meat, scotch, and simplicity, and Mike's a "cleaner/fixer" who looks super adorable playing games with a 10-year-old girl. IT'S SO AWESOME.

Honestly, R is like a surreal hyper-conglomeration of lots of boys that I mildly obsess over (Bogie! Jay-Z! Rhett Butler! Rex Harrison! Atticus Finch!), so it's pretty safe to say we're not breaking up any time soon.

kylie antoinette

It's been another few days without either one of my sweeties here at home (Meghan's gone camping, Richard is in Tennessee again), and while I miss them terribly and prefer to have them home with me, it's been kinda nice having some Kylie Time this go-around. Make no mistake, I've still be super emotional and cranky and weepy, but that's just kinda the new norm these days! (And watching the last season of "What Not To Wear" doesn't help either, thankyouverymuch.) But I also need some time to center and focus on the things that chill me out, which include a little shopping, actually using that jasmine body scrub I got for Valentine's Day, enjoying a new veggie juice, reading during my lunch break (not scrolling Instagram), and updating my Tumblr. All silly little things, but they make me feel fresh and relaxed (as relaxed as a manic person can be), and I've learned it's not-so-good when life happens to push those simple pleasures off the plate. Simple pleasures are what make the plate worth having in the first place!

Whenever I have any down time lately, I try to focus on doing enjoyable things for "us," whoever "us" is at that moment (me and R, me and the kittens, us and friends, etc.), but I came away from these past couple of days remembering how important it is to focus on doing enjoyable things for MOI. And only moi! If I want to listen to a podcast, paint my nails, or figure out what my next purchase at the mall is going to be, I shouldn't have to wait until I'm all by myself at the house in order to do it. It sucks because I feel like I'm rudely ignoring the people I love when I do choose to do those things, but those things are what make me a happy/fun Kylie to hang out with in the first place. Where's my Obvious Award for Balance?

So from  now on, I'm going to try to be Kylie Antoinette more often and just ignore my friends/family. KIDDING. But kinda! And I know it's terribly anachronistic and historically devastating to refer to my personal time as "Kylie Antoinette," buuut I don't care because it sounds cute. Now, Kylie Antoinette is going to watch "Dave" (yuuus), drink Pellegrino, and gear up to blow some cash tomorrow. I'm jealous of myself already.

happy list

1. Getting some quality Kylie Time this Saturday while R & D were at a Nascar race.
2. All the ice cream consumed in the past 3 days. (Ugh, totally forgot about the glory that is ice cream cones)
3. The RJD2 Pandora station Richard as honed in fabulously.
4. Watching "Mr. Mom" for the first time (OMG, SO CUTE.)
5. Finding that "Django Unchained" is available on-demand the first day of it's DVD release (this was literally the first thing I did after waking up this morning. PRIORITIES, people!)
6. Getting caught up on all my blog posts. :)
7. Salad! Spring time salads!
8. My new make-up routine.
9. CJ and I's champagne dinner last week.
10. The 45-minute phone call with Hilary that felt like 5 minutes.
11. Sweepy bangs!
12. How sweet and supportive and understanding my sweet boyfriend is.
13. Going to bed feeling all warm and fuzzy and cuddly and heavenly. (Freshly shaven legs contribute to this sensation immensely.)
14. The glorious spring sunshine!

"unfaithfully yours"

"Unfaithfully Yours" is on TCM tonight, which is one of my faaavorite movies. Hip hip for DVR recorders! If you've never seen this movie, GET ON IT, it's hilurrrious.

While I've loved this film for years, it took on a new kind of special after I met Richard. Let's just say, the Rex Harrison character's bombastic articulation reminds me a little of my sweet man...
("Today you've sunk even below yourself!")

So, on top of every other single thing I adore about him, my handsome man also reminds me of Rex Harrison roles? Ding-ding-ding! Lottery!

she love ev'rything jay says, jay does

Me: When did Nick's car alarm go off?

R: Like 10 minutes ago.

Me: Oh, I was listening to Mariah then!

R: I understand. When I listen to Mariah, it's just me, Mariah, and nothing else.

you'll get it soon enough, meggie!

"Okay, I'm onto you, alright? I know when you say you're a 'boring couple,' what you mean is that you are the luckiest and happiest couple ever." 

"No, it's not that great--I mean, we climb into sweats and watch Netflix every night." 

"Uh, that's insufferable, and you two are a bunch of scum-bags."

"The Mindy Project" Harry & Sally 

One afternoon, Meggie came into our room and said (with that "insightful," confused disgust that teenagers pull off so well), "All you guys do is watch TV together!," whiiich is equal parts true and not true. We also have our fair-share emotional/neurotic freak-outs, make kick-ass dinners, have nights where the TV doesn't come on because we just keep finding things to talk about, and take pictures/videos of the littles blowing our minds and being adorable.

However, I did tell Meggie later that her line totally cracked me up, because that's the goal, teenager! I know the goal with she and Nick is to go everywhere and do everything, but maaannnn, R and I go too many grown-up places and do too many grown-up things every day that yes, I get really excited and protective over our codependent TV time. Where the only tough decision is "Which comfy pants do I want to wear?" and "What what the last episode we watched?" Maybe it's because I grew up an only child and R always has The Lion's Share of Chaos in his life, but "boring" is the best. We always temper it with a night out with friends or a trip to King's Spa (and bless the littles for getting us moving every time we see them!), but I think the amount of joy I get from staying at home and watching a movie with my man is enough to chloroform a gorilla or two.

Basically, this is all to justify yesterday. :) We watched two movies that suuucked ("Just Go With It" and "Hick") (like, bad enough to motivate me to finish unpacking and bad enough that we turned it off without finishing it, kinda sucked) but the night still ended with me French-braiding R's hair and laughing at Louis CK, so I'll call Monday a win!

And as much I am always thinking of other stuff I "need" to be doing (working on my new blog! getting grad school stuff together! planning balanced meals!), I always find that I look back at the "worthless" night before so personally satisfied and in love with my sweet man that it totally clears my mind of all my neurosis. At least for a second. :) Because all the important stuff ends up getting done and all the unimportant things fall-off eventually, and there's very few things that are more worthwhile than doing the most boring things with the man I love most.

"I know you're tired, but just think how good you're going to feel tomorrow when you wake up and we have all new shelf paper!" 

"I wish I didn't get what you were talking about, but I do. I just do!"

"Modern Family," Best Men

"morning devotionals"

I'm in that place where I'm watching Beyonce videos every morning and crying sporadically while I do so. Just throwin' that out there.

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This is PMS.

For lunch today, I ate a big slice of cheese pizza, vegetable egg-rolls, and a chocolate chip cookie, and I'm still really satisfied with myself. Oh, and I come and wailed on a bag of Cheetos. Today is awesome!

honey-glazed pecans

These exist, and they are in my pantry, meaning my pantry is officially magical.

also

Also, Michelle never curses (ever, ever) but she'll tell me, "I was thinking about you on Tuesday because it was so crazy! I thought of that word you use." "Cluster-fuck!?" "Yes! It was perfect for Wednesday!"

Also, Michelle and I always get lumped together as "Kylie and Michelle." Who won the Guest Service award? "Kylie and Michelle." Who did Phyllis write an appreciation to to put on the Appreciation Board? "Kylie and Michelle."

Also, Michelle and I always get confused for each other on phone calls and even email. I'm always amazed at how many times I'll hear Michelle say, "No, this is Michelle..." or how many times a client asks me "Wait, which one of you am I talking to?" EVEN EMAIL. I was emailing someone from our team's general email the other day, and they addressed me as Michelle for 3 exchanges before she noticed my polite, enduring signatures of "Kylie."

this is a job for beyonce lyrics

One of my favorite things about my supervisor, Michelle (in a long list of precious characteristics), is that she is just as butt-crazy in lurve with her Husband of 30+ Years as I am with Richard. We are so not shy about saying telling each other "And then he emptied the dishwasher, and ahhhh he's the bestest guy everrrr!" or "I watched my honey turn left onto the street this morning when he was driving to work and, ugh. He is so cute, almost called him to tell him how cute he is!"

Because I've worked with women who are bitterly single and I've worked with women who, no matter their relationship status, don't want to hear how personally satisfied you are (even when they ask you outright! it's so ridiculous!), and I just totally appreciate that I can dork-out to Michelle about R being The Best Kylie Boyfriend Ever, No Questions. And she can do the same with me with her hubby and we just make each other laugh. :)

i asked blake if i could make a pinterest board for him...

"where did the general put his armies? in his sleevies!"

my other mother-in-law

Me: I copied your phone number from Richard's phone, so if you get a call from a strange number it's probably me! And I'll leave a voice-message so you can confirm and call me back.

Del: Got it. Call back strange number for good time!

precious overload

My godmother, Vicki, is so fucking sweet, adorable, and fashionable with the biggest personality. She is the mother of a bunch of big football boys, and she was always enthusiastically interested in my dance lessons and what dresses I was going to wear to banquets. My mom and I once took a little cooking class that she hosted at my high-school, and I'll never forget how politely indignant she was when people in the class were talking about how much easier pre-minced garlic in a jar was than chopping it fresh. ("It doesn't take that long...!") She's not afraid to tell you how sexy Julie London is, and I'm pretty sure I have a pair of her old tap shoes.

I just found her Pinterest, and all the reasons I love her just came back and hit me straight in the face. Fashion boards that are so bold (for my home-town), age-appropriate and spot-on, and omg, she has one called "If I were 20 again..." that have cut-off denim shorts, as well as one called "HUNKS" in all caps. SO PROUD SHE'S MY GODMOTHER.

hands like a fortune-teller

My glitter shellac manicure is giving me unreasonable amounts of self-confidence.

this stuck with me

When I was 19, I once went to a mall in Houston. I parked outside of Neiman Marcus, so when I was walking (lusting) through I stopped by their sale shoes just to fantasize. You know, even sale Louboutins are pretty pricey! But the thing I remember is overhearing some girl say, "You see, this is why guys should pay for dinner and other things. We spend all our money looking worthy to take to dinner and other things."